Posted by: Amy @ 8:54 am
A wonderful former therapeutic foster parent Ms. Minnie Richards passed away on February 2, 2010. The United Methodist Children’s Home remembers her for the tireless effort she made on behalf of children in her care. Ms. Richards was licensed by UMCH Therapeutic Foster Care on November 29, 2000. Nominated by the UMCH Southeast Therapeutic Foster Care, Ms. Richards was awarded the Alabama Association of Child Care Agencies (AACCA) Foster Parent of the Year Award on January 8, 2007 in Clanton,
She never turned down a request to take a child, and excelled in providing care for teenagers, an age group for whom it is often difficult to find a foster home. Ms. Richards was instrumental in helping children either return home or move on into independent living. She worked extensively with biological families, welcoming them into her home and teaching them basic parenting and housekeeping skills so the family could be reunited.
Ms. Richards also worked tirelessly, for numerous years, with a sibling group of teenaged sisters. She taught these girls independent living skills, but allowed them each to remain in her home until they were prepared to move out independently. Ms. Richards continued to assist these women after they left her care, and was the guardian for one of the sisters who is developmentally disabled. When she retired from taking on any new therapeutic foster children on November 24, 2008, she still had a child who had been stepped down to traditional foster care in her home.
“God makes people for different things,” Richards said. “And, if you accept His plan for you, things just fall into place. This is my place. I would recommend being a foster parent to anybody who feels that is their calling. Being a foster parent is a blessing.”
Ms. Minnie will be missed by many, and we appreciate everything she did to support and care for the children of UMCH in her many years as a foster parent.
Edited from article by Jaine Treadwell, The Messenger (
Ms. Minnie Richards
Posted by: Amy @ 12:54 pm
Tenecia, a beloved alumnus of the United Methodist Children’s Home, passed away on February 10th, after complications from an illness. A bright student with a beautiful smile, Tenecia will be missed by her family and many, many friends.
Tenecia participated in the Early College High School Program for two years before she graduated from
At UMCH’s Awards Days she received the Becky Castardo Award for Excellence in Math, the Bryan and Sharon Casey Award for Best All-Around Girl, and the Bert Pribbenow Award for Scholarship, Leadership, and Christian Endeavor.
After graduating high school, she was a student at
On a UMCH trip to
“Tenecia said, ‘I’m going for it. I don’t want to miss a thing.’”
LuAnne recalled, “And when we returned to the
Posted by: Jill @ 5:33 pm
Foster Parents Have Strong Commitments
Written by Jane Treadwell - Published in the Troy Messenger, September 12, 2009
They’re often called “Saints on Earth,” these people who take therapeutic foster children into their homes and into their hearts.
But “these people” shun that title, saying only that they have big, soft hearts and a lot of love to give.
Being a therapeutic foster parents isn’t easy. In fact, it’s most often a difficult undertaking and one that takes a special kind of person, said Renee Daughtry, therapeutic foster care case worker for the United Methodist Children’s Home. “Being a therapeutic foster parent is not something that anyone can do or everyone wants to do. It takes a special person with special skills to be a therapeutic foster parent.
“These children have suffered abuse, neglect, abandonment – some form of trauma – for more than one time. They come to us with a behavior diagnosis. They have special needs. So, yes, the people who step forward and become therapeutic foster parents are ‘Saints on Earth’”
Daughtry said she can’t answer the question that is asked of so many therapeutic foster parents.
“Why?”
“There are many different reasons people become therapeutic foster parents,” she said. “But, each one loves children and wants to do what they can to stop a child from hurting.”
Patsy Liveoak, program supervisor of the Southeast Region Therapeutic Foster Care with the United Methodist Children’s Home, said there are about 40 children currently in the UMCH program with about 25 of those in the South East Region.
“We need people to who are willing to become therapeutic foster parents, and we need people who will be tutors, mentors and those who will commit to respite care. There are so many needs and those who fill those needs are special people.”
Children come to the program at different ages and with different behavior diagnosis and Daughtry and Liveoak admitted that being a therapeutic foster parent is commitment that is not made easily or lightly.
It’s a strong commitment and one that invites change and stress and some heartbreak into one’s life but one that gives hope for a better life to a child who is hurting.
Patricia Brooks’ life had taken a sharp turn since she began taking therapeutic foster children into her home.
She had been a foster parent and knew the heartbreak that one feels when she has to let a child go.
The goal is that a therapeutic foster child can “step down” to traditional foster care and then be returned to his or her biological parent or parents or to be adopted.
Brooks’ belief that being a therapeutic foster parent was her ministry and that it stopped there. But siblings, a boy and girl, in her care had other ideas.
“When we learned that they would not be going home, it was right before spring break, and I want to wait until then,” Brooks said. “For children to hear news like that can be traumatic and you just don’t know how it will affect them – how they will react.”
When the children were told that they would not be going home, the young boy looked a Brooks and asked her “Will you please keep us?”
“I had to do some really hard thinking,” Brooks said. “I had never thought about adoption. I didn’t want to adopt but I did, and I’m thankful that I did.”
Brooks’ adult son was the reason behind her decision.
“He said, ‘Mama, if you don’t adopt them, you’ll worry me to death worrying about them, where they are and what’s happening to them, so you might as well go ahead,’” Brooks said, laughing.
His encouragement was all she needed and now she has a house full of love.
The children have been with Brooks for seven years, three as foster children and four “as mine.”
“These children are so appreciative,” Brooks said.
“Even the smallest things are big to them. I love to see their eyes light up, and it’s so wonderful to see the positive changes in their attitudes and behaviors. And, I think, ‘What if I had not done this? Where would they be?’ And, I’m so thankful for this opportunity and these children.”
Wendy Rouse is a therapeutic foster mom to a 16-year-old girl for one year and two months and it hasn’t been an easy road to travel but they’re now enjoying the ride.
Rouse worked with youth groups at her church and knew that she had a way with young people, especially the girls. So, becoming a therapeutic foster mom seemed to be the logical next step.
“But she when she came to me, she was hard and she put up a wall that I couldn’t get over or through,” Rouse said.
“Oh, we had a time,” Rouse said. “She was a handful. She’d try to run away and I was trying to sit up all night to make sure she didn’t get away and it was wearing me out. So, one day, I went and bought some cactus and planed one under each window and put a buzzer on the door and went to sleep at night.” Little by little, Rouse could take a single brick out of the wall, talk to her foster daughter and then put the brick back.
“We’d still have disagreements and one big one, she packed her bags and got ready for me to have her picked up,” Rouse said.
“She’d had that happen so many times, but I wasn’t going to give up on her.
“She waited and waited and, when no one came, she unpacked her bag. She asked me why nobody came, and I told her she was there to stay.”
Rouse said she and her foster daughter take trips together and are often like college roommates.
“She has learned that she has value and can make something of her life,” Rouse said.
“She knows others care about her and are there to help her. It has made a difference. The wall is coming down. And, she’s welcome to stay with me through college.”
Rebecca Mauldin has three children of her own, ages 8, 10 and 11, and has a 14-year-old therapeutic foster daughter who has been with the family for eight months.
“My husband grew up with a Kool-Aid mom who always had children around,” Mauldin said and added laughing. “He always wanted foster children, but it has taken him 21 years to talk me into it.”
Mauldin said the decision to become therapeutic foster parents was a family one.
“We talked with children and made sure they understood there would be changes,” she said. “We weren’t going to ask them to give up anything but things would be different.”
For Mauldin the decision was not difficult.
“I believe that God gives us gifts and, if we don’t use them, we are denying God,” she said. “This was an opportunity for us to do something to help someone turn her life around.”
Having a therapeutic foster daughter has helped the Mauldin children more understanding and caring people.
“It has increased their humanity and empathy,” she said.
“It has been good for all of us. And, of all of us, I enjoy having our foster daughter around the most. We have a good relationship, and I can see changes in her that are very positive and I feel good about her future.”
The therapeutic foster parents said those whose hearts are being tugged toward caring for children who don’t think they are worthy of love should listen to their hearts and “Just Do It.”
And, they have the answer to why they are therapeutic foster parents, “Because God is so good and He has blessed us.”
Posted by: Ashley @ 3:20 pm
The delegates attending the North Alabama Annual Conference did not hesitate when asked to write a few words of encouragement to the children of the United Methodist Children’s Home.
These blessings will be forwarded to the kids so they know all of the United Methodists who are thinking of them. Here are just a few of these special notes.
God loves you! Always remember that you are special to God! You are important!
We at Carpenter UMC are praying for you.
Always know that God loves you!
God loves you!
God’s special blessings are hoped and prayed for you!
You are a precious child of God. He loves you more than you will ever know. Cling to Him and His Word.
For the happiest life…draw close to God. He will show you JOY and LOVE and help you know His purpose for you.
A child’s faith can lead adults to Christ because children are open and honest. As you grow, keep your honesty and openness.
U.R. a special person who will do wonderful things in this Life if you stay in God’s Love.
Let God give you dreams. He will help those dreams come true. I pray love for you!
Never give up and always keep your head up. Pray for people who you don’t know and you will be blessed. I will be praying for you.
As you go through life, always remember there is life in Jesus.
Jesus loves the little children. Smile and be happy!
Thanks for the art calendar. Keep drawing and painting.
May God bless you all and good luck in everything you do!!
Happy summer! God bless you all! I am praying for you all!
Be sure to read a book this summer!
Be all that God wants you to be!
Jesus loves you and so do I. Stay faithful to Him and He will direct your path.
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| Kristin Webb works mainly with families fostering young children and infants. |
Contributor Kristin Webb is the program supervisor for the United Methodist Children’s Home West Florida Foster Care program based in Milton, Florida.
I recently worked with a family who desperately want to adopt. They are unable to afford an international or private adoption and have turned to fostering in hopes of finding a young child to eventually adopt.
I highly encourage foster parent adoption for foster children whom the state has released for adoption. This tends to be very successful. However, it is important to keep in mind that the most common goal for children in foster care is for them to be reunited with their birth parents.
So while you are creating a bond with your foster child and making him or her a part of your family, as foster parents you have to be able to work with your local child welfare agency and other professionals in support of reunification with the birth family whenever possible.
Whether or not you are trying to adopt, here are a few points to consider when pondering the question, “Should I become a foster parent?”
- Will you be able to comply with the local and State licensing requirements? We can help. There is some information on our website with contact numbers for our offices near you. Go to www.umch.net/fostercare to learn more. Or you can call your local foster care agency. In Alabama, your county’s Department of Human Resources can help. In Northwest Florida, contact the FamiliesFirst Network in your county.
- What are your motives for becoming a foster parent? Do you want to share your home, time, and attention to children in need? Are you choosing to foster only to fulfill a need in your own life? Expecting a foster child to fulfill a need in your life will most likely result in dissatisfaction for both the foster parent and child.
- What are your expectations of foster children? Do you expect foster children to be grateful for “rescuing” them from their past home environment? Rarely are foster children grateful to be removed from their parents. They are not excited about being placed into foster care.
- Can you let go? Foster Care is only intended to be a temporary arrangement. Most children move on to return to their parents or other relatives. Will you be able to attach to a child and later help them move on?
- Do you have a strong support system? Do you have friends, neighbors, co-workers, family members, or a church family you can turn to for support? Fostering children who have been abused or neglected can be emotionally draining. Children have varying emotions in response to their situations. They are often angry and resentful. As a foster parent, you will often be the recipient of the brunt of their anger.
Kathy Harrison, a foster parent in Massachusetts, has written two books based on her family’s fostering experience: One Small Boat: The Story of a Little Girl, Lost then Found and Another Place at the Table. Below are some other websites for more information on deciding to become a foster parent.
http://adoption.about.com/cs/fostercare/a/Should_I_Foster.htm
http://humanservices.mesacounty.us/index.cfm?id=406
http://www.princetonol.com/family/parenting101/foster1.html
Kristin Webb
Program Supervisor
West Florida Foster Care
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In the book, Kids have Feelings, Too, Gary Oliver, PhD, discusses raising emotionally healthy children by cultivating an encouraging environment where children feel valued and parents are responding to a child’s pleasant as well as painful emotions.
Dr. Oliver states, “Children should not only be allowed, but enthusiastically encouraged to experience happiness and sadness, hope and fear, joy and depression, jealousy and compassion.” Studies show that proper emotional expression is so important to childhood development that real learning cannot take place in the absence of both pleasant and painful emotions.
Below are some things we can say to help encourage our children to talk about their emotions…
- “It looks like your feelings are hurt. What happened?”
- “Tell me more about that.”
- “Would you like to help?”
- “It seems that you are afraid.”
There are difficulties and joys at every age. A child’s problem may seem minor to you as the parent, but it is major to the child. Help and guide them through this with understanding and love. You only have them a “short while”.
Carolyn Castleberry, MS
Licensed Professional Counselor
Program Supervisor
Comprehensive Family Support Services
For more information…
Wright, Norman and Gary J. Oliver (1993). Kids Have Feelings, Too! Illinois: victor Books.